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Why are people telling me that my husband loves his ex mistress if they are only meeting for conversation?


http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index:_ylt=AjIDwMlV7vm.O.Vo42cDdm0gBgx.:_ylv=3?qid=20090806143144AARAcIw

I asked that yesterday &amp: got some good answers.

Everyone is telling me that he loves her or would never have contacted her.

Is there no remote possibility that he really DOES just feel sorry for her, or maybe genuinely enjoys her company, and felt bad for cutting her off back in May?

After all he is a very guilty conscience type of man, and I know he would hate the thought that he isn’t talking to someone.

I admit I was freaked this week when I saw he’s reopened their secret email account (which he had cut off in May when she got married and he refused to talk to her again, obviously he had a change of heart)

In their emails from this week, I see they have been meeting up this week but believe me, he is saying things like it’s not going to be like before and I won’t risk being thrown out, I can’t sleep in my car can I?

As far as I can see there is nothing to suggest any sexual activity, and he has no idea I have his email account information.

Can he really only want her back because he wants to rekindle / sleep with her / misses her? Can it not be for just friendship? He does have other female friends, so this girl is nothing special.

(He dated her for 1.5 years last year, and I caught them in Jan 2009. He begged for her back, she said no, then she finally moved on, at which point he refused to communicate with her any longer. She tried to get in touch with him for 3 months, he said no, then she sent a message saying forget you then! – at which point he got back in touch this week)

Hi Hope,
Sorry to say but he loves her and even though he is married to you and she married some one else, that love isn’t going away. I dont want to offend you but you have got to stop living in denial. The moment your husband started an affair with this woman, he stopped caring for you.Worst part is that He has proved his love for her on numerous occasions, but you cant see it or wont aknowledge it.
How do you let this guy walk all over you, damage you, break your heart over and over again? Do you enjoy this pain?

Is there no remote possibility that he really DOES just feel sorry for her? NO
Maybe genuinely enjoys her company, and felt bad for cutting her off back in May? YES He felt bad. Obviously!
No man or woman would rekindle a friendship with some they had an affair unless they are hoping to start all over again.

You need to wake up and smell the roses, he wants her, whether or not he is sleeping with her again, the point is they have an emotional relationship which isn’t gonna disapear if they are in contact.

You need to leave him, move on &amp: get your own life.

Does it really matter? After he’s betrayed your trust SO MANY TIMES, you are still going to stick with him anyway, so what does it matter what we have to say?

Well I’ll say it anyway: he didn’t just cheat once, he had a full blown emotional and physical affair until you found out. He doesn’t have a guilty conscience because he continued to cheat. He is a very selfish man who won’t remain faithful to you and you are kidding yourself if you think he’ll change and become a perfect man. People like that don’t change, they just find better ways to hide their deceit. I’m sorry if I sound harsh, but I’m telling it like it is. You either stay and put up with his philandering, and snoop through his email for the rest of eternity to ftry and find out what he’s up to and make yourself believe that it’s nothing – when you know it IS something or he wouldn’t be hiding so much from you. Your other option is to move on, allow yourself time to heal and eventually meet someone who treats you right. He already promised no more contact with her, but he broke that promise and now he’s meeting up with her again. Why are you still there? You might love him, but you should love yourself more than someone that would treat you like that. You deserve more and you know it.

He basically told the woman that he won’t do anything because staying with you is better than sleeping in his car.

If they are meeting up it’s just a matter of time before they have sex. It is not friendship they are missing.

Besides, you are his wife, you should be his best friend and confidant – not some Ex he has laying around.

So, either dump his cheater butt or shut up and live with it. Those are your choices because he is never really going to leave her for you.

Look, i’m really hoping that you hear me out on this because I’ve seen way, way too much **** like this and been through it myself as well. Some men, can really, really lie. They can know they have consequences in store for them but they’d rather stretch the truth like a rubber band and even until it snaps then stand up and face the music of being caught. Your husband is one of these men, and let me tell you even if he does get caught in a lie, and I mean with everything you can prove him to be a lier with, I can almost bet you that he will even continue lying to get out of trouble. Because if it’s worked for him this far to keep a roof over his head, food on the table, and someone to pamper and care for him though not with him returning it, Then he’s thinking &quot:gee&quot: obviously this lying stuff can save my ***!!!

Maybe he really is only meeting her for conversation. But (a) he’s not being fully upfront with you about it and (b) he is putting himself in the way of temptation. I read an interesting article this week that cited studies showing that we are more vulnerable to temptation than we think, and that people who believe that they are the least vulnerable actually give in more often. I would guess that this isn’t going to turn out happily for you. Sorry.

Chuck him out already I’m so bored reading this same **** all the time.

No he doesn’t just feel sorry for her. You are kidding yourself, why on earth do you keep giving him the benefit of the doubt?

HE IS SLEEPING WITH HER

it sounds like a passionate connection they have: he refuses her for 3 months, then wants to get back in touch after she says forget you. he begged for her back and she says no.

i have been in relationships where i was always wondering about faithfulness and honestyand i have been in relationships where that is not an issue. at present i have other issues with my man, but he is honest and faithful.

i recommend finding a man like that. life is so much more serene with an honest faithful man.

the difference is when they’re dishonest and unfaithful, you’re always wondering, but when they’re honest and faithful, you know.

my boyfriend tells me regularly things he does to protect our relationship: not encouraging women he meets, never giving his phone number, if we have to spend some time without seeing one other for logistical reasons, he masturbates so as not to have too much desire and not to be too tempted by other women around him.

You are an idiot. (Sorry, but it sounds so stupid to me.)

He didn’t seem to have a guilty conscience when he was cheating on you. (Light bulb moment time!)

I think you know the answer to your ramblings.

Get a life!

Why you ask the same question several time? LEAVE CHEATER. HE WILL NOT CHANGE. DIVORCE

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