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What do I do with my 4 year old son who refuses to poop in the toilet?


I have tried everything from candy, toys, stickers, time out, being understanding, being stern. I have ran out of ideas. Please,Please, Please if anyone has any good ideas Please let me know!!!! Thank you sooooooooo much

I just potty trained my son and daughter. What worked for me was The Potty Stool http://www.thepottystool.com I started by just setting it at the toilet. My kids immediately climbed up on the stool and discovered that they could safely use the toilet. This got them very interested in using the toilet and they were potty trained very quickly.

I put toilet paper down in the toilet bowl so that they would not get splashed when they pooped. With the stool, they were completely comfortable and did not develop the fears your son has.

I like that I don’t have to double the steps of potty training by training them first in a potty and then training them to stop using a potty. And not dumping and cleaning a potty each time is great. The best thing is that kids use it for years. I hope this helps you.

I see that you do have him in underwear all the time. Well guess what your son is not acting like a big boy, so I would just tell him if he poops in his underwear then he will have to put a diaper on again. If he doesn’t care about this or would rather a diaper on than my other suggestion is. A stronger discipline every time he poops in his pants and a great reward everytime he poops on the potty. I have worked for over 15 years in child care and I have not had one child not potty trained by the time they were 3 years old. Our method is this, every time they go on the potty they receive one sticker on a chart, if they go in their pants one sticker is taken off and the child has to throw it in the trash. If they are older and know what they should be doing then we also include a time out for going in their pants and they sit in their dirty clothes during the time out. I a personal note my mom always made us clean our own dirty underwear. She made us stick out hands in the toilet and clean them out ourselves. 1 or 2 times of taking responsibility for his own actions might just help. Good luck.

You need to figure out why. Is it a power struggle, does he not want to take the time to go, or is he holding it in until he can’t hold it anymore because he is scared it will hurt?

I agree with others about putting him in underwear. I would also recommend looking for signs that he needs to poop and then make him stay on the potty. If he doesn’t poop once every three days give him a suppository on the third day (for health reasons). Sometimes it only takes giving a suppository once for them to choose to go on their own.

While on the potty I recommend rubbing his abdomen and spreading his legs wide. It’s harder for kids to hold it and it eases the release when legs are spread. You may also want to sit in front of the toilet and let him push his feet down onto your legs.

If it is strictly a power struggle, though. You will have to be consistent. For powerful re-inforcement you could give let him put a sticker on the calendar for each day that he poops and tell him that if he gets so many stickers than he will get a prize at the end of the month. Otherwise you will need to use negative sanctions: loss of privileges (television time, treats, special events) until he uses the toilet, making him help clean out his underwear, or something along those lines.

And there’s always the possibility of a medical issue. I had similar issues with my daughter, and I know it is not fun.
Good luck!!

Okay so first off is it he’s refusing to go or is it that he just doesn’t understand how to make it move when he’s sitting on the potty?? Most little boys stand or squat when doing a number 2 and you are asking him to do something that he may not have under concious control in a new position. Be patient with him. If he tends to do it around a certain time of day place him on the potty with a book or toy to keep him distracted for a bit of time. Anytime he wants down let him down and praise him for trying. One day when you’re not looking it will suddenly click and he’ll be doing it.
My son figured it out about 2 weeks ago thanks to a little extra help from a stomach bug. It gave him some tummy cramps so he wanted to sit on the potty. He’ll be 4 the end of november. Patience is the key if you punish he’ll avoid the potty and you’ll end up with a boy who does it somewhere you don’t want it.

I know when I babysat I used to put food coloring in the toilet so that the water changed colors when he peed. I also had him play sink the battleship by throwing in some cheerios and he had to aim and sink the cheerios and would get an m&amp:m for each one he sank. It helped him learn to use the potty, but granted it was just for #1, not #2 so i’m not sure if it will help u.

Now that here is four it is time to lay down the law. If you are still putting him in pull ups then stop and put him in underwear. Chances are he won’t like the feeling of poop in his underwear. If he is starting pre school this fall explain to him, that he can’t go to big boy school if he isn’t going to be a big boy. That is what I would do.

Did you try putting him in under-ware??? Put him in under ware let him pee and try to poop. If he has an accident it’s ok. Ask him if he likes sitting in poop. Most kids don’t. This worked for my son. Also potty training is supposed to be a positive thing. Praise him when he goes and tell him to try better next time if an accident. Best of luck to you.

Let him decide when he is ready to do it. The more you push hime to do what YOU think is right the more he will refuse. Boys take longer to pottytrain so sorry but just give up and start putting diapers on again and see if all of a sudden he changes his mind. Remember to pick your battles and unfortunatly this is not one you will win because it’s not your body it’s his. Good luck

Maybe for some odd reason he is afraid of the toilet. I remember when I was about 4 or so I heard a story about big huge sewer rats coming up through peoples toilets.

Put him on the toilet and don’t let him off til he goes.

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