First, storytime. It’s relevant and necessary for the question.
I was built completely wrong…I feel strongly for people I care about, especially when a girl should occasionally unknowingly force her way into my heart…problem is I’m heavy, and CANNOT lose weight. I eat salad and somehow gain like 3 pounds, I go on a short walk, and I somehow again gain calories. I just can’t lose weight, so I’m very self conscious, not confident, and personally don’t think I’m attractive. I met a girl I liked a while ago, and the day she talked to me I finally thought God had decided I could be happy…I was wrong, she asked me, about 5 minutes after she started talking to me, if my friend had a girlfriend. I decided to do the right thing and help her get together with him. The guy turned out to be an emotionally-retarded jerk. I tried to be there for her constantly after that, and after I was sure she was over it, like two months later, I asked her on a date, but she said she saw me as a friend and thought going on a date would be weird. So I was emo for a while, came to the conclusion that maybe God would give me a break eventually someday, and I should keep my hopes up and maybe she might see me in a different light someday. A while later, she got a crush on some other guy, who I again decided to help her with. We were actually going to to go to a concert together, but I thought she might rather go with the guy she liked, so I offered her my ticket for her to give to the one guy, but she said no and refused it, repeatedly. Maybe it was because I payed for both of our tickets, but I dunno. But it gave me hope, and encouraged me to keep fighting and to not give up. It turns out the day before the concert, the guy she was going on a date with soon had a girlfriend, or was engaged, or something. Anyway, that obviously ended that thing, and I was once again there for her whenever she needed me. I though maybe now God was giving me a break, and maybe helping to show me in a different light to her. NOPE. I’ve been buying her stuff for the past couple weeks, gave her my old iPod, all sort of stuff. I just found out today that my friend talked to her about it, and she knew how I felt all along…she just couldn’t tell me because she knew how depressed I could get, but had NO idea how depressed I would get, which is slightly less depressed than I am now…
So now, my questionis this: Why does God hate me so much? Is it that just every so many people he picks one and says You shall be miserable, forever. And then throws them into a life of pain and heartache? I was made all wrong. I feel too strongly for people of my physical build, and honestly, I’m incredibly soft-hearted, so things like these don’t go over very well…it’s the worst pain I’ve ever fealt…
I’m starting to doubt everything. I’m even coming to he conclusion that the God I believed in for all my life isn’t real. I’m not saying I’m not believening in any god, just I had God all wrong. I always thought God was more kind, merciful, and listened when people prayed to him, and he cared how hey felt. But no…lately, mostly today, I realize he’s much colder. He hasn’t listened, it seems. He’s shown me the one thing that would make my life complete, regardless of whatever else is and isn’t in it. But he kept it just out of reach, and refused to help me…He put me together in such a contradicting way I feel like I’m just meant to be beat around emotionally all my life…Again, my questionis: Why does God seem to hate me so much? Why does it seem like he’s forsaken me?
NOTE: DO NOT blame her for ANY of this. She is the embodiment of perfection. Which brings point two, I’ve tried to forget, get over it, everything. I can’t get over it or ignore the feelings I have, they’re too strong…And 3: Don’t tell me anything like You think God has forsaken you! You’re gonna burn in Hell! Sinner!. I’m not saying anyone will, but it’s NOT a sin. Jesus was sinless, yet he thought God had forsaken him, and if Jesus did it, it must be acceptable sometimes…though this may be different because he might have forsaken me, since I’m just all alone now…
Well, you need to be thankful for the things that you HAVE. Have you ever heard of the man without limbs? He is a guy who was born with no arms and no legs. He is a Christian evangelist. He too thought God had screwed up or must hate him. He was wondering why God would create such a creature. He is now an extremely effective evangelist. He is married too.
Maybe you have a thyroid problem. You should get it checked! That could be why you are heavy.
Go to livewithoutlimbs.org and check out this guy (Nick Vujicic). He is a true inspiration!!
i donuo ….
have you check the doctors? maybe that girl isn’t the one for maybe? move on already. try to work on ur life instead of helping others.
he hasn’t forsaken you, he loves you. just ’cause life isn’t going well doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. he loves everyone. peace.
ever thought about liposuction?
I just went blind from reading that…. God is love…as long as you do what he says
God will never forsake you.
Wow. I need a hard drink after reading this crap.
Your a really pathetic human.
And no, god doesn’t hate you, he is just jealous that you are real and he isnt.
If it doesn’t exist it can’t hate.
no and im not reading all this….
He does not excist