Is this possible? I have been going to a therapist, and it may sound crazy, but I have realized in the past I was sexually abused by my father. When I talk about my dad’s relationship &:me, it is awkward for me to even describe it, yet I love him so much in a strangely loyal way.
The flashbacks started coming back last year. I remembered when I was 6 years old that my dad would get into bed with me and wake me up. He would touch my body and press himself up against me, and when I fought it, he grabbed me so I couldn’t move. All of that came back so powerfully last week when I had this realization about why I am having so many problems in my relationship and men.
My father was very manipulative and verbally abusive. And when I was in high school, we went out on dates once a week that I could not say no to. I felt bound to him in some way, but at the same time disgusted that he brought me to nice places and s
I am terribly sorry that happened to you and you are having to go through this. If you cannot feel comfortable talking to your male therapist you definitely need to seek out a different therapist or professional who you can discuss this with so you can not only talk about it but let your emotions out so that you can have healthy relationships and feel better. It can be a struggle, unfortunately when the abuse took place by someone in your family, especially your father. Of course you are going to love your father because he is your dad. The most important thing to remember is that nothing that happened was your fault. You were the child and he was the adult. I wish you the best~
Im 26 and i have been sexually abused 6 times by 5 different people. Sad to say that Im an expert on this. I know that you love him because after all he is your father and at the same time you probably hate him for doing such things to you. It is possible that you can remember these things but I can honestly say that your therapist is trying to figure you out and in the process you are remembering things which can positively sure get allot worse than before. If you know that this may affect you more now than before try another route and stay away from this therapist and get another one. I have to say that , just because he/she is a therapist doesnt make them an expert. I know you are disgusted with the situation, i dont know your relationship with your dad now but you still have the ability to stay away from your family for a while and see what happends. no calls,no get togethers. it will be hard at first but it can benefit you on that little gap because you will need some time alone to think about what you should do. Its hard sweety, be strong.
God bless and hope you find your answers. Best wishes!
People have false memories. If your therapist or anyone around you have suggested that this may have happened, or if you watched a show or read a book with child abuse, you could form memories of events that never occurred.
Definately find a therapist you are comfortable talking to. Don’t accuse your dad now. Talk with your therapist. Have talks with your other family members to see if they thought something was amiss with your relationship with your father. Do not bring up sexual abuse, except maybe with a trusted sister or mother. If you do tell your sister or mother, don’t accuse your father. Just say that you are having these awful thoughts that your father may have hurt you.
If you were sexually assaulted as a young adult you may be remembering the feeling of being hurt and placing it with your father instead of the actual person who did it to you.
You could also have been having a bad dream if your mind is trying to decide why your dad is so controlling. You could remember it as if it were real.
Abuse may have happened, or it may have not. Since you are not sure you need to be careful not to break up your family. It is probably too late to convict your father if it did happen, but you would know not to leave your children with him.
You are an adult now so you do not have to be under his grip. You can spend time with your family and leave any time you are not comfortable.
You can choose to forgive him if you want. It is your decision whether you let something that may not even of happened strain your relationship.
Get therapy. Get couples counseling. Read self help books. Set goals. Take communication and business courses to help you communicate and work with people.
What is your therapist’s opinion on what you should do?
If you feel uncomfortable with your therapist for any reason I believe it is time for you to find a new one. Once you find a new therapist you feel comfortable talking to you can discuss your new memories. I would advise you not to make any rash decisions such as going to the police until you are able to understand where these memories came from. I’m not trying to justify your father’s actions … I just don’t want you to make a decision you will later regret. Good luck, and I hope you find a new therapist.
This is a very slippery slope you’re on, the memory plays very strange tricks, especially memories from 16 years ago. Talk to your therapist about it and if you’re not comfortable with a male therapist find a female. While being manipulative and verbally abusive is obnoxious behavior, sexual abuse is illegal and subject to a jail sentence.
It is totally normal , i ":remembered": when i was 13, it is so understandable that you feel uncomfortable, during sex and other activites that have nothing to do sex, out of the blue i feel vulnerable and insecure, the feeling where all you want to do is go to bed turn off the lights and not wake up. There isn’t much i can do but if you ever need to talk about this please IM or email me, i know what you are going through!
This is very possible. It took me almost a year to fully understand that I was sexually abused and this happened when I was in high school, so I wasn’t terribly young.
Make sure you settle some of the conflicts you are having about this issue with yourself and your therapist before you talk about it with your family.
Try telling your therapist that you have something to say but are having a hard time telling him because of his gender. Ask for a referral to a female therapist. Maybe you can tell her what’s wrong?
I believe that you’re telling the truth – I totally think it’s possible to repress memories. I wish you the best of luck! *hugs* Stay strong!
You need to be very careful because my sister went to counseling &: decided something simarlar as that. She only decided this because of counceling and began blaming our parents for all her problems. The next thing that happened was that she talked my other sister &: I into believing we had been physically abused , not sexually as she said she was as a child. I stayed away from my parents for years. Then one day I thought about it &: realized I had hadd it suggested to me &: it had not happened at all. Not only that but my other sister said she had decided it wasnt true either. then later after the sister who started all this had been out of counceling for MANY years she realized it hadnt happened to her either. She says now she was hypmotised &: had the ideas put into her head. We all missed out on a lot of years of experiences with our parents because of it. I know it seems real to you right now but be careful! Ive met several other families that have been through this too. Hope it isnt true for you as well &: all goes well for you.
This is not that uncommon. It is good you are able to open up and speak of this, but be sure to share it with your boyfriend, he may be going crazy having to deal with your distance. If you feel like reporting your father by all means do it, but disowning him and moving far away would be another option, if you dont want your business in the street. I hope all is well in your future, and I will pray for you.