What do I do?

I feel lonely…I’m 18 and I don’t have friends. And i’m not exaggerating. I’ve never had a lot of friends to start with but when I quit high school three years ago (cause depression and anxiety) I lost all contacts with the only few people I used to talk to. I NEVER go out of my room. I’m here 24/7. I can’t talk to people (not even my family) and especially make friends. Other than being anxious and shy I’m extremely quite and I have different interests than the majority of the people of my age so it’s even harder to find someone. I keep dreaming of my old best friends, of meeting them again but I know they moved on a long time ago…I want to have a normal life but the more time goes on the harder it gets…I tried to go to a therapist but they didn’t understand me…How am I gonna find a job and sustain myself once my parents are dead… (sorry if I made any mistake, I’m not fluent)

Sounds like your social anxiety is very severe. I’m not going to tell you &quot:go outside and meet people!&quot: Because its pretty obvious its easier said then done, and can even worsen your anxiety. I reccomend going to some free, anonymous depression/anxiety chatrooms were you can talk and relate to the people in the chatroom. You can look it up and there are many sites. The internet is a great place to make friends (as long as you are careful) and I’m sure you can even meet some people here on yahoo. Just take baby steps, and you’ll get there! Hope this helped. Good luck!

I can relate as I was painfully shy and had social anxiety. Today as an old man (52) I am still introverted but no longer shy beyond brief moments that get fewer as I get older.

So let me spare you some pain and I will relay to you my experience. Shyness is a function of an extreme and unreasonable fear of negative judgments of others.

While we are all unique individuals there is a common thread that runs between us all and that thread is emotion. Once one comes to objectivity understand that we are all insecure to one degree or another, this makes ones own insecurities seem ordinary, common and not as scary as when one errantly assumes that they are insecure while others are not.

Next a few words on confidence. Confidence comes from caring little what others think specifically about you. We need to care what others say in general, but what others think of you should be limited and contextual. It is good to care about what others think about us but not to the point where one bases their self-esteem and sense of self worth upon the subjective views of others.

I learned what I know largely through the study of philosophy. Do not approach philosophy in an academic way, approach philosophy in a practical way and read what philosophers have to say about fear, confidence, anger, etc., and see what teachings the philosophers taught that can make your life better.

Good luck my friend, I sure wish someone had told me this stuff when I was young as it would have made the road I have traveled a bit less bumpy. One last thing. This will likely be the hardest thing that you have ever done in your life so make a choice, to continue on as you are or overcome shyness. I lived for decades as a shy guy and I am here to tell you that overcoming my shyness has massively increased my quality of life and happiness! If I could do it I have no doubt that you can too!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *