About this time last year I met my ex. We got on so well and I basically started automatically liking him, I then found out that he was talking to this other girl and they were supposedly seeing each other. I was literally so heartbroken, we carried on talking anyway which was wrong because I knew i wouldn’t have a chance. Everytime they argued me, he would message me and we would end up talking again, and as soon as they made up he’d go back to her. Anyway, after months of this happening he eventually called things off with her to be with me, this was in Septemer. WE started seeing each other until November, then he asked me out. I was literally so happy, we argued bait though sometimes but it was all worth it for the good times:( I lost my virginity to him, and I’m literally so attached. We broke up at the end of december and now 4 months down the line after breaking up, I’m still so in love with him. For 3 of those months, he used me for sex, and would pick me up and drop me whenever he felt like it, and I let him because I loved him.
After everything, he is now saying he hates me, picks arguments with me whenever possible, talks to my friends, literally acts as if he wants nothing to do with me. Its literally so horrible, but at the same time he still says he has feelings for me.
I dunno what he’s playing at, id do anything to be with him again and its killing me. I literally hate it.
I wanna know why he’s doing it, Is it because he’s trying so hard to get over me but can’t, so instead is trying to convince himself that he hates me to reverse the feelings? I NEED HELP, WHAT IS HE DOING
This is sad, but I think you made things way too easy for him. You were always there when he fought with his girlfriend. You always took him back after your fights. You gave your virginity to him and then continued having sex with him after he dumped you. And even after everything he’s done, you would be there in a second if he asked you to be. Now I think he feels fondness towards you, but he’s done with the relationship. He can’t show you any kindness because he knows you’ll take it as a sign and he doesn’t want to deal your emotions anymore. Plus, you’re acting so pathetic, it makes him feel guilty and he resents that. So if it feels like he’s looking for reasons to hate you, it’s probably because he is. It’s sad because I do think he cares about you as a person, but he can’t risk you becoming any more attached so he feels like he has to be mean. That’s what I think is going on. There’s a chance that you guys might be friends again, but the relationship is over and I do not think he’ll stop being mean to you until he’s sure that you understand this. You need to focus on getting over him (hard as that is) and making sure that you never let him use you again, whether it’s staying up late to talk him through a girl problem or having sex again. I know it will be hard, but stay strong. If you can do this, you’ll find that your next relationship is a lot more fulfilling because you won’t make the same mistakes.
If you don’t move on you will be hurt for the rest of your life. The time spent writing this story down is time you should be spending finding someone who won’t pick you up for sex like a prostitute. Think about the reasons you like him and then think about the reasons he’s hurting you. It’s seeming like the Hurt List is longer, otherwise you wouldn’t be calling out for help. MOVE ON. Seriously. There is no other way. I’m sure you’re young so there are plenty of other guys to meet as you progress with your life.
If their break up was recently or not that long ago, then he’s just use to her ways and so when you say or do something it reminds him of her, because he’s new to not being with her and being with someone else. So he’s not completely over her yet. Only because they were together for a long time, well kinda long time, but they were serious about each other and had stronge feelings for eachother. That he probably never felt that way with before. But if she’s definately moved on and they no longer communicate. Eventually he’ll relize it’s over. That’s what usually happens if you have been together a long time or had feelings for someone you never had before. But it’s rude and disrespectful towards you too. so next time in a nice way say ": I’m not trying to be mean or rude, but I don’t feel comfortable with you comparing me or constantly talking about your ex. I just wanted to be honest with you because I really like you alot and I always want to be honest with you. So if you could please try harder and stop doing that I would really Appreciate it., I find it rude and disrespectful. I don’t think you would want me to compare you to my ex and talk about him all the time. So could we please talk about something else. (something like that , then talk about something else.) You can change it up a bit if you want. but remember watch your tone, be really nice about, talk to him like you normaly would, so he won’t take it the wronge way and get mad. Just remember ": Be Polite": about it. Well good Luck! I really hope things work out for you both. ":Just Be Honest": keep me updated I’ll add you to my contacts! 🙂 grumpy81
Ex’s do get back together all the time. I agree with the person who said that. I also agree with the person who said Ex’s are X for a reason. Usually it is a good reason. I have had friends who re-married ex-husbands, and for some it worked out well and for others, not so much. The best way to get back your ex is https://tr.im/bKEMp
Some things concern me about this situation. You are not married, he is not married, so there is no vow. But to call each other ":girlfriend": and ":boyfriend": implies some thoughts to that direction and requires some level of exclusivity. Maybe I’m just old, but to me, you meet someone and you are just casually dating, probably you are both still looking and maybe seeing someone else. Once you declare that this is my boyfriend or this is my girlfriend, you need to make a clean break BEFORE looking at someone else. Did you break up with him? Or did he break up with you? Were you left FOR the other woman? Or did they get together afterward? What was happening in the relationship that caused the break up? Are those things really intolerable? Were you being unreasonable? What about him or the situation is telling you things are going to be better this time? Here are a couple of things you do say that really concern me….. He is talking to another woman (you) about problems with his current girlfriend. Men of integrity, men worth having, don’t bad mouth their women to other people. PERIOD. This is a big one for me. I’ve never understood phone sex or virtual sex. Personally, I’m not going there, you have to make your own choices. But it is, for all intents and purposes, sex. Say you got back with him. Is it alright with you for him to have virtual sex with other women when he is your boyfriend? Because seriously, if he will have virtual sex with you while he has another girlfriend, it is almost 100% certain that he will not be more faithful to you than he is to his current girlfriend.
One more thing. He is not being honest with you. Does he want you or her? If he was being honest with you, you would feel confident about it. To me it sounds like he may be playing both of you. Maybe the problem is that he isn’t being honest with himself and doesn’t really know what he wants. So the question is. Do you REALLY want him back? It may be far better to move on. In any case, right now you are coming from a position of weakness that says ":treat me any way you want and I’ll put up with it, I’m a door mat.": This makes you vulnerable to the kind of man who would mistreat you. A man worth having doesn’t want a doormat. You want a man who will not mistreat you and who would be faithful to you. Eventually you are going to want to get married. You don’t want to marry someone that is going to be heartache and headaches. Exciting is not a bad thing, money is not a bad thing, handsome is not a bad thing…. but they mean nothing if you cannot trust him. If he’s all about money, you are just an ornament. If he isn’t about money at all, you are going to be struggling financially and stressing the relationship too much. Is this man worth the effort? Then you have to stand up and be honest with him and demand that he be honest with you about what he wants. How can you get him? I don’t think that is the problem. I think he is too easy to get.
Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don’t worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Go to https://tr.im/kxiAF
Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.
The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me – her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.
Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don’t belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.
I know it’s heartbreaking and difficult, but you have to accept that it’s over.
There is nothing more to it than the fact that he’s a giant a$$clown and you deserve a lot better.
You can’t move on when you are constantly in contact with someone. You need to cut off. Block all forms of contact, and if it’s possible to avoid him, then do so. I understnad you love him, but you need to love yourself more.
Now you know that dick like him cannot be trusted. He just want to have sex with you and then dump you like ****. Dick like him is gutless ****.
Whatever he said to you was a lie. He doesn’t love you. He just using you. You don’t deserve jerk like him.
You should forget him.. Start a new leaf. Have a new relationship. HE IS YOUR HISTORY.
move on girl!