How do I handle being around her when I have to see her like holidays? I saw her tonight and I wanted to punch her ******* teeth out but obviously I would never ever do that.
Are you the only one in the family who knows about this? How can that be? I don’t want to seem to challenge you when you are asking for advice…I’m trying to suggest that maybe you’re not seeing something, or you’re not paying attention to it.
Your family members MUST know the same things about your sister that you have listed. They can’t all be in the dark. In that case, it raises the question ":How does Mom, and how do your other relatives, deal with this, and why doesn’t that technique work for YOU?": Can you not do like they do? Do you not want to? Can’t help you if you don’t explain that.
I hesitate to say this, but there is another possibility, which you probably recognize…It’s another question that has to be asked: ":If they DON’T see what you see, why not?": Is it maybe not there? Could that be a possibility?
Ok, I’ll take what you say at face value and you can ask yourself the questions about the rest of your family. You know you will never do anything to her (even though you think she deserves it). So what you need is something else…a technique. Maybe your siblings have a technique already – figuring that out is on you. But there is one that you already know which you can use in the meantime…it’s what you do on the bus when you run into someone who’s bossy, bully-like, insulting, rude, and self-centered. You don’t create a scene and you don’t start a fight. And you don’t walk away from it feeling like you’ve been abused, or like you’re a wimp.
With the person on the bus, they don’t get to you, because you don’t feel anything for them, and you don’t have any instinct to ":fix": them, or to turn them into something better (or more agreeable to you). I’m not suggesting that you should stop feeling things for your sister, or she should become like some stranger on a bus to you. You can’t do that. But you can maybe ask yourself if you think she needs to improve the kind of person she is, and that it’s somehow your job to make that happen (because it’s not). I’m not saying you do…not saying you don’t. I’m just suggesting you should ask yourself if maybe that might be the case. If the answer is yes, then there’s your angle. Something to think about before the next family picnic.
i would just try to be nice to her and maybe that might encourage her to change her ways
If she truly as the devil take her to church and see what happens