I’m 14 &: a freshman in high school. Ever since October I’ve been struggling with anxiety. In October-November I’d have days where I’d come home crying and I didn’t know why. When I felt anxious it made me nervous about what was wrong with me and I would search my brain and find things that I’ve done wrong in my past and I’d feel like I’d have to confess them. This compulison made me confess a couple personal, embarressing things to my parents…Now it’s just anxiety. I don’t really have that compulsion any more. Mornings are really tough for me. I get anxious about going to school and in school sometimes I get panicky and I feel like I’m trapped there. Sometimes it gets to the point where I have to go to the bathroom and pull myself together and chill out. A couple of times I had to go to the nurse and say I wasn’t feeling well just so I can go home. I don’t really get anxious about anything specific or in general I just do. During the school week I don’t eat a lot because I’m afraid that everything I eat is going to make me sick and I’ll get sick in school. I don’t eat lunch most of the time at school because of that too. My anxiey is a million times worse when I have my period. I see a therapist and she said it has something to do with my hormone levels or something. I go through days where my anxiety is fine and I’m not anxious at all but then I have days where I’m just a mess and a nervous wreck for no reason. What triggers my anxiety is when I’m in places where I feel trapped or places that I have to go to and it wasn’t necessarily my choice to be there, or when I feel like there’s no way out of where I am, or when there’s no bathroom around I’ll get panicky, or when there’s a change in my daily routine or something. I can get through every day life fine and I’ll have a couple of weeks with no anxiety at all. I’ve been copeing through my life instead of living it.
I’m see a therapist every couple of weeks and I’ve been considering taking medication but I really want that to be my last resort. As of right now the only medication I’d need would be pills that I can take when I’m in very anxious states, not everyday.
Can anyone relate to this?
Would this be considered anxiety or an anxiety disorder?
Keep in mind both my mom and dads side of the family struggle with anxiety. Basically every single one of my relatives on both sides of my family are either taking anxiety medication or some form of anti-depressant.
Let me just start off by saying that I suffered from anxiety, just like yours, for years. I now do not suffer from it at all because I learned a secret. If I quit caring about it, it will go away. This sounds very simple but it is true.
Anxiety disorders are brought on by our own personalities. We make ourselves this way by the way that we think. Compulsions, panic attacks, constant worry….. these are all symptoms that are caused by the same thing…..our constant need to over-analyze and pick apart everything.
People with anxiety are very intelligent, over-thinkers. Our favorite phrase is What if? There is nothing wrong with us. We are not sick or having a nervous break down. We just think too much! And we have trained our brain to constantly look for the negative in things. Always. It has become a habit. But the good news is that it is a habit that you can break, just by changing the way you think. It doesn’t happen overnite. It can take a year or more to retrain your brain to think in a healthy way, but it can be done. My whole life is completely better.
You need to make one phrase a part of your life. ":I don’t care.": Because if you don’t care about something, it has no power over you. Next time you feel anxious, say ":I don’t care.": And go about your day. Even if you don’t mean it, keep telling yourself that anyway. Next time you feel the urge to do something, just say ":I don’t care about that.": And start doing something else. Don’t give your brain the drama it is seeking. If you keep doing this, soon your brain will learn not to over-react to every little thing.
Everybody has an internal alarm that makes them respond to danger or a perceived threat. People with anxiety have an alarm that is set on ":super sensitive.": So it goes off at the slightest thing. Because YOU and the way you think have taught it to do that. It thinks it is protecting you by sounding of the alarms every time the tiniest thing goes wrong. Teach your brain not to respond this way, by retraining the way you talk to yourself. Next time your heart starts racing, say ":I don’t care.": Next time you think you are going to faint say ":Well, I guess I am gonna faint then.": Next time you think you are going to die say, ":Well, if its gonna happen, just let it happen!": And lay on the bed and say ":OK come and get me!": And guess what, you won’t feel anxious anymore. Because you quit CARING. Keep doing these things and eventually your brain will get the message that it doesn’t need the alarms set on super sensitive anymore.
And the next time you start to get weird compulsions or think strange thoughts, ignore them and read a book, or watch a movie. keep saying, ":I don’t care.": Everybody gets weird thoughts or urges. Everybody. The difference is that people with anxiety analyze them to death and wonder ":what they mean…..": They don’t mean a thing. Nothing at all. They are just thoughts. We are human beings. We have to be thinking something. It doesn’t all mean something. Most of what we think is just nonsense. So don’t waste precious energy worrying about it. And remember, that to worry about something, you have to be thinking about it. You cannot worry about something that you aren’t thinking about. It is physically impossible. Don’t dwell on thoughts or feelings or compulsions. Tell yourself, ":I don’t care.": Tell yourself that a thousand times a day. I promise you, in a matter of a few weeks you will start to feel better.
Stay away from sugar and caffeine and eat protein at every meal. Every single meal! Anxious people often have hypoglycemia and it makes us feel a thousand times worse. Make sure you eat every 2-3 hours. Peanuts are great snacks.
Do not take medication!!! You don’t need it! The reason you feel panicky is because…..you are panicking! Stop panicking and you won’t panic! lol! It is really that simple! Start talking to yourself and thinking in a healthier way, and you will feel like a whole new person.
And lastly, educate yourself. I went to the bookstore, to the library, I went to websites and I learned everything there is to know about anxiety. I learned so much about it that I knew EXACTLY what was going on and I learned there is nothing to fear and it really helped me quit caring. I learned how normal this is, that there are millions of people going through exactly the same thing, and I learned that I have the power to help myself. And i did. And so can you. Good Luck!
You are not alone in this. I struggled with anxiety for most of my teenage years, and it only makes you more special and internally stronger inside – you’ve pulled through a hell of a lot more than the barbarians around you. Realize that and develop confidence from it.
Also, along with talking to someone whom you trust or a therapist, I advise you to carry around a bottle of water with you and drink some whenever you feel the slightest bit anxious.
Do not let your exaggerated mind and irrational thoughts run away with you. You are in control – not the stress inside you. Those thoughts are developed from some sort of paranoia sparking anxiety in you. And compared to real life nature, some of your thoughts are even impossible. Your mind is your worst critic – not the people around you.
Start to accept your nervousness instead of fighting it. Walk around comfortable in your own skin as if you will rise above the panic and not let it get by you. Feel the anxiety in you and do things anyway. The more you do, the better you’ll feel. Also, change around your routine. Things may start getting dull because of your schedule, and change can be somewhat refreshing.
Try not to worry. School is really the only time where anxiety will emerge, and it’s not worth fearing – you’ll never see the people again after graduation. Might as well not let anxiety get the worst of you.
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14 year old girl who struggles with anxiety…please read the whole thing, i need your help?
I’m 14 &: a freshman in high school. Ever since October I’ve been struggling with anxiety. In October-November I’d have days where I’d come home crying and I didn’t know why. When I felt anxious it made me nervous about what was wrong with me and I would search my brain and find…
going to the bathroom when it gets really bad and chilling yourself out – that’s a GOOD thing, let me tell you why. You are having this anxiety, but them you are responding to it with a solution to it. Taking a break from the situation is a good coping skill you’ve taught yourself.
I really think you should reconsider asking a psychiatrist to recommend some medication for you. It doesn’t need to be this bad.
being so young, life is very tough at that age. It really should get a little better, both as you get older and as your cycle has less impact on your life.
I think that you need to have a relationship with somebody in your area. Its just, you only live once. Spending 99% or more of your time with this guy, away from him, in a room isolated by yourself, and talking to him on a screen… just doesnt seem WORTH IT when you consider that one day, your lifetime will be over! So seriously. If you have some looks issues, or social anxiety issues, or your personality needs work, or you have some bad habits your afraid of ppl noticing, and thats why you dont wanna date or hang out with ppl in your area? FIX THESE PROBLEMS. NORMAL ppl fit in to their areas, if your not fitting in im not saying you have a ":problem":- to be honest i used to be kind of a tool, but now im the guy who gets laid more than anybody and i can date a girl as well whenever i want, its actually pretty straight, i read a few books, learned a little bit of philosophy on inner game and outer game, how i should react, how i should think, and what KIND of things to say- i.e. give funny, creative, in the moment statements, funny stories and hilarious questions, and also a lot of roleplaying, teasing, etc… and very few sideline comments or routine boring questions… and with that said, my personality improved, i was able to get friends wherever i went! This confidence enabled me to GET OUT OF THE HOUSE- thus, i could start WORKING, to get money… i could WORK OUT and get a great body- also helped me- and i dont even spend much time in the gym, maybe 4 hours a week on 4 days… and it enabled me to tan, go to parties, clubs, etc… basically, my life is amazing right now. im on here cuz im asking a question about getting my ex back- a real LIFE ex ive dated for 7 months, who wanted to have sex with me every day (and we found a time to do it every day), etc etc. Life is better experienced than seen thru a screen, im sooo serious right now girl. I might sound a little harsh and the rude awakening might bug ya, but seriously at some point you need to really consider what im saying to you right now. Your LIFE is tickign away every second.
i know what you are going through i am 18 and i stared having anxiety about 6mouths a go it a pain cause you think you are going crazy or dieing. i am going to a counsel now to they tried 3 kinds of pills but i had all the side effects of the pills. they say that what some people do with anxiety they thank it makes them sick. will i decided i was to young to go crazy and be on medication so i found these herbal pills that help and there not bad for you. one is called St.johns Wort it helps with mood support then there is 5-HTP also called L-5 Hydroxytryphan its helps your nervous system. it has stopped my attacks before . i usually take it before i go to bed it helps me a lot. i hope this helpes life is no fun win your scared of every thing.
It sounds like General Anxiety Disorder to me. And it’s probably genetic.
Be wary of medication, often for anxiety people prescribe antidepressants, and at your age that can be dangerous. Research medications before you see a psychiatrist. It’s hard to assert yourself when you’re anxious so bring a list of the reasons why you think this could help you, etc. etc.
Your therapist can talk all she wants, but if she hasn’t referred you to a psychiatrist or even a GP, she never will. Your anxiety sounds severe and unnerving. You can get help for it, even if you can’t see a psychiatrist – walk-in clinics or your general practicioner will listen to your problems and are allowed to prescribe things as well.
Good luck. 🙂
Oh dear so sorry to hear this is happening to you. I had major anxiety and what really helped me was Lucinda Bassetts attacking anxiety and depression program. Tell your parents about this program. Call this number immediately 1 800 586 4014. You should also try herbal remedies like cammomile tea in the grocery store or valerian herbal tablets in the drugstore these can also help without side affects prescription meds have. Drs will not tell you this they will push the prescription meds.
it sounds like your anxiety is disrupting your life.
You would benefit from having a coping strategy for when it feels like it is too much.
From experience, I have found that because the anxiety is a negative feeling, when i feel it i had a tendency to resist it, which made me even ore anxious.
By allowing myself to be anxious, it was like i was owning the feeling rather than it controlling me.
I learnt how to do this by using the Sedona method. Using this long term made me a lot calmer whenever the anxiety came up.
Another thing that i found to reduce anxiety is EFT.
Anxiety disorders are the most common mental health problem in the U.S., affecting about one out of five people at any given time. There are many safe nondrug remedies for anxiety. Read here https://tr.im/vaA7k
Anxiety can take many forms вЂ” generalized anxiety disorder (constant worrying about everyday things), obsessive-compulsive disorder or OCD, panic disorder, post traumatic stress disorder and social anxiety disorder.
I have read some litterature about panic attacks. But they allways seem to have a more scientific approach and that is nothing I need in my struggle to survive those horrible panic attacks. This is a ":hand on": and very practical book. I felt it was written to me. I am sure that you are going to feel the same.
Joe Barry writes exactly how I think. The examples are perfectly described. And the method is genius. I recommend this book and thanks Joe Barry for writing it. It changes your life