My wife and I have been together for 11 years but married for less than 2 years and we have a 9 year old son.
When our relationship started out it was the most fantastic thing for both of us. We were able to build a great foundation before the trouble started. She had lied to me about many different things when we met and through out the first 5 or so years of our relationship although she never cheated on me until now.
9 months ago my wife got her first full time job since we have been married. She and a man from her job started a friendship that quickly spiraled into an affair. I noticed my wife spending all of her time at home on the computer. She had a myspace page and face-book. She was using myspace to connect with him outside of work.
I confronted her about setting a bad example for our son using myspace and face-book although at the time I had no idea what was going on. When I confronted my wife she told me that she was bothered by past issues that we had. Things that happened before our marriage. There was one incident/argument that happened 7 months before our marriage that she now claims has killed all of her hope that we could work through anything like we had in the past. I asked her why she married me if she felt that way and she responded that ":it was the right thing to do":. She told me that she felt that I don’t love or respect her and I told her that if she really felt that way then I would work hard to change her mind. Since then I have done all kinds of special things for her like cook her dinner, flowers, gifts, I set up baths for her for when she gets in from work and i do all of the house cleaning and laundry. It doesn’t matter what I do, she does nothing in return or even acknowledges me.
When I tried to talk to her about this and the distance that remains between us she told me that she wanted to leave although she claims to still love me. I was shocked by this and have to admit that is when I said to myself that there is someone else in her life. I started to dig into what she was doing on the computer and noticed one particular myspace page that she would visit many times per day.
She finally agreed to stay but she said she needed space to think and 3 or 4 nights she didn’t come home until after 12:00am. It was on one of those nights that she cheated on me. After 1 visit to a marriage counselor and my wife not admitting to any wrong doing, she left. She told me that she loved me but didn’t feel the same way as I do. The morning after she left she called me to talk. She was at her sisters house. After talking for 2 hours she told me that she wanted to come home. I drove an hour to pick her up and she hugged me like she hadn’t hugged me in years. She told me that she was back for the right reasons and that she loved me more than anything in the world. We picked my son up from school early to share the good news. My wife now admitted to an inappropriate friendship with a married man from work but still claimed that she never slept with him. We had such a great day together but then she saw him the following day at work and I noticed the distance between us had returned. 2 days later was Thanksgiving and she drove to her sisters house to pick up her rings that she had forgotten there. I had a very strange feeling something was going on. The following morning my wife got up early and used the computer before getting ready for work. While she was in the bathroom I checked the computer and found that she had a secret email account that she used to communicate with him. I read all of the emails and found out that they had spent time at a hotel together. I confronted her about what I found and she told me that he had left his wife for 1 night and she only went there to talk to him. I am so stupid that I believed her. A couple of days later I told her that I spoke to him and he admitted the affair. I was lying to her but I needed to see if she would finally come clean with me. She told me that she did sleep with him but it was because she felt that our relationship was dead to her. I was in a state of shock that she would do this, not only to me but to our son. I told her that I would work with her to repair our marriage and that I would even take some responsibility for the affair. She didn’t want to hear anything, she just wanted to leave. It was at that time that I asked her to pack her things and leave. I told her that she was making the biggest mistake of her life but she left anyway. I was sick to my stomach and I thought that she was gone. Later that night from her sisters house, she called me. We spoke for about an hour before she told me that she wanted to come home. When she arrived she practically leaped into my arms. She told me how sorry she is and that she would spend every day of the rest of her life making this up to me. She told me that she loved me very much and that she misjudged me. She looked right into my eyes and told me that she is here to stay.
It has bee
well if you split up you’ll be paying out the a$$. and she will be in that house of yours with that dude and your kid.
You’re a bigger fool than she is for letting her control you at her whim.
She’s not mature enough to be married and she doesn’t know what she wants. And you take her back whenever she shows you any attention, and forgive her everything just ’cause she’s nice to you? You’re letting her walk all over you.
Man I sorry, that sucks. If it weren’t for the child I would beat the crap out of her and if the man knew about you and your son I might beat sh it out of him too. I suppose you love her and you are honouring your son too so respect.
You need to definetly lay down some laws and show her your not a wus who she can decieve anylonger. Maybe ban the computer for a start.
sorry its a very long story i lost interest….
so are you still together???? what happened–