Ok so my husband &: I been togeather for 9yrs, married 5 1/2yrs. He was never racist before we married, however after he joined the Navy I started to notice it.(he served his time, not in no more) Now im not saying the navy did this to him, but only thing i can think of is the dept he was in was mostly blacks and the few white ppl in his dept had alot of issues with getting treated unfair then the blacks. I told my husband many times he can not blame the whole black race for these few ppl on his ship, I told him there are bad ppl in every race just as good ppl. He seems to not get it at all, he thinks he is right…talking to him about this get no where. I seriously feel like if i was to bring home a black female friend to hang out with, shop, ect he would flip out. So im wondering do you think i should just forget about let him think what he wants &: me keep thinking how i do? think im making a big deal about it? He even makes comments about me watching black showson the BET channel.
I’m sure it has a lot to do with him being a white man who became the minority. It bothered him more than he thought and instead of realizing how other races would feel being the minority he now got to experience it first hand. I think he feels it’s still a white man’s world and how could he be in the military surrounded by mostly black men. I’m also sure that everything about the experience was different than what he is accustomed. Imagine you living on a ship full of muslims or someone from another country. Think about how you would feel? We all want to be surrounded by people we relate too and maybe your husband didn’t relate…obviously. However, this experience caused him to be a hater! It’s completely ridiculous I know. He would have changed his mind had he been in the middle of a war and a black man saved his white ***!
If he’s choosing to live life not surrounding himself around black people then why does he have to ***** or bring it up to you at all? He’s not in the Navy anymore tell him to get over it.
It’s difficult to go through life with someone who is a racist or does not share the same views that you do. But it certainly reminds me of my ex husband who was the biggest racist. I wasted a lot of time arguing with him about it too. However, I found out that he was calling singles hotline phone numbers and posing as a black dude trying to hook up with black women. What kind of racist was he anyway? LOL Maybe he slept with a black woman and he wants to play it off that he hates black people. Hey! It could happen.
Regardless….ignore his ***! Why waste a second trying to prove to him that black people are good people? The more you say the more he will say. Shut him up by ignoring him or take off and go somewhere.
Why do care what she thinks is it because you believe that you have a duty to alter her opinion because she has a different view from you, or is it just that you against freedom of thought speech and perception like some bible bashing Christan or Muslim I think your question about how to educate a racist person is insulting as if it is a aliment rather than an opinion, besides nothing you claimed she has said sounds racist to me she simply does not think she could handle having mixed race kids or is revolted at the idea of having black ones , you cant make people like something unless you are a fascist On second thought perhaps it is you who feels insecure about the choices you have made with regard to the colour of your offspring and your just looking for reassurances
Okay, to the first person…get real. They have been together 9 years….everyone has issues, everyone has personality flaws. If you have kids, no you don’t want that one to be passed down, but honestly I know A LOT of people who are racist. Does that make it okay? NO NO NO! Is that worth leaving him? no! But you do need to make him see that it is something he needs to work on. I would bring a black girlfriend home and let him see how lovely she is. Talk to him about how much it bothers you. If you are religious, have him talk to a religious leader. He needs to be deprogrammed and you need to help. If you guys have been together this long and he loves you, then if you make it known how much this is bothering you…he will try to change! Bring home books that might help address this issue..make it an issue and make it known it is unacceptable.
The word racist is thrown around too much. Why don’t you listen to his points of view maybe he’s not racist, he just feels that black people are getting preferential treatment (which they are.) And you don’t divorce someone because they think a different way, you try to understand their reasoning. And don’t watch BET because it’s retarded and it only promotes his thinking that blacks get treated better. White Entertainment Television = Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton ":racism, racism": outcry.
I think he has issues, and it could create a problem for you later. Tell him that racism is hate. Pure and simple, and if he cannot find a way to deal with it, I personally would not be able to be with him. I am not saying for you to leave your husband, you just need to make him understand that hate is not healthy, and it only leads to violence. Not good.
maybe he hasn’t met a black person who’s been a good person in awhile maybe he just needs to meet one and maybe that will change his view or not
He is just getting a taste of being a black man.
There is one in every family. Husband, wife, child, grandfolk, sibling, aunt, uncle… pick one and run with it like you were Kunta Kinte.
make friends of all races and your husband will realize that race has no impact on what a quality person or friendship is..
Get out before you have kids. I am on my 3rd wife, and she si the best! You will find somebody better than this rascist clown. Unless he is rich. Does he take care of you? I guess that is what is really important.