Friend telling my boyfriend I was raped?

When I was younger I was raped by my step father and sent to where I live now to live with my real father. This happened… maybe 2 or 3 years ago. I never wanted anyone to know (I wanted everyone to think I was a virgin) and I only confided in my best friend. I have been with my boyfriend for half a year and he is my best friend’s childhood friend (and they are still close friends). My friend was mad that I would not tell him but I kept on saying I was going to find the right time. She got mad and told him through a text message. He is mad at me because when he asked I said I was a virgin and she is mad at me for not telling him sooner and keeping it a secret. Was it really that bad of me not to tell my secret to him?

No, you were not wrong at all. She was wrong… very wrong…

Now that it is out though, you need to understand why he is hurt. He is someone that wants to be trusted and told the truth. You need to understand that and not hold it against him… and he needs to understand that this is something that happened to you, and you do not always want to share that information with people if you don’t feel the time is right….

Good luck…….

No. That’s something very personal and is a traumatizing experience for you. Of course you wanted to keep it a secret from him. You were only dating for a half a year. If anything, YOU should be mad at your friend for letting out a secret, and you should be mad at your boyfriend because he’s not being understanding and supportive.

No, you really couldn’t openly come out with something like that. You have to have enough trust in a person to tell them something like that, and so you needed to build up a relationship with your boyfriend in order to feel comfortable telling him that. I don’t think it’s right for him to be mad, he sould be understanding with you right now. It’s a hard situation, and I wouldn’t consider you to not be a virgin, because it was against your own will. And as far as your friend goes, that was really shallow of her, your best friend is supposed to understand this, or at least try to, not go against you when you need her

Your friend should not have shared that with your boyfriend. It was only you decision when to tell him.
I am sorry you had to go through that experience and it is doubly painful when your friend did that to you.
Your boyfriend does not really care about you if he thinks that way. I would put distance between those two people. They both betrayed you and they are not likely to change in the future.
Seek new friends. I am sure you deserve better people than these two.

Yes, it was very bad of her to share such an intimate secret. As for him being pissed off about it, the best answer as I see it is, &quot:Yes, I still consider myself a virgin. I have never willingly given myself to a man and that makes me a virgin at heart. Not being a true virgin is no fault of my own. If you are unable to see the importance of this, perhaps you’re not the right guy for me.&quot:

You had every right to wait til you felt ready to tell him. Neither of them is understanding and your best friend is not much of a friend. I think you should reconsider what you value in a friendship. And boyfriends are supposed to be understanding about things like this.
There was nothing bad about what you did, only what she did and how he reacted.

i totally agree with the first two answers. its true..obviously if hes upset with you [ and its totally not your fault!! its your jerk of a stepfathers fault. and if he has a problem with you…that is HIS problem] you didnt need to tell anyone about that. its a prvate, personall, and painful experience, and you were right to want to tell it at the right time. your so called &quot:friend&quot: was acting like a jerk to tell your bf that. ditch em both…they dont deserve you. i know, itll be hard. but itll hurt more to stay.
im also truly sorry you had to go through that. that is one of the worst things that can happen to a person. youre in my prayers =)
God bless!

no not at all secrets that are personal don’t have to be shared with people but telling your friend probablly made you feel better tell him that it was very tragic thing that happened to you and you didn’t want to share it until the right time.

i’m sorrry about what happened to you and good luck
God Bless!


No CuZ your friend had no right to tell him.u had to tell if for yourself when u were ready.i was also raped when i was younger and i told my friend that and i know that she hasn’t said a word about it to anyone.if that was my friend i would be pissed off but since there’s a boy in this situation I’m thinkin your friend is jealous of you and her friend being together,and she maybe said that out of her jealousy.for your boyfriend i think he shouldnt be angry cuz its your decision to tell him something that personal

No it was’nt,why should you have to tell people about such a thing? They should have understood how degrading and humiliating an experience like that is and how hard and humiliating it is to admit it happened.They are both stupid and insensitive.I’d cut both of them out of your life.

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