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My situation is as follows:
I am 22 and I have a friend we’ll call Crystal age 20, who I have known for around three years and we are very close, but neither one of us are romantically interested in each other and are strictly buds in a Brother-Sister way, She also now has a boyfriend whom I also get along well with, so no problems there.
I spend a lot of time at her house hanging out with them and doing repairs on her family’s multiple vehicles (that always seem to need something done), and as such her parents have kind of unofficially adopted me as one of the family and I am very grateful for their goodwill and hospitality.(they actually get annoyed if I knock before coming into their house)
However, Crystal has a younger sister Natalie (16) who recently got her learners permit for driving and needed to begin building her driving hours and experience, Since Crystal is only twenty she can’t drive with Natalie because learners have to have someone 21 or older in the car with them.
Their dad works daytime then spends his evenings with his work buddies at the bar and their mom has crippling arthritis and doesn’t like to spend much time in cars so I became Captain Driving Instructor, and for the last couple months now Natalie and I go driving a couple of nights a week.
And you know what? We have a hell of a time, we really do. We talk about every thing: books, movies, music, likes, dislikes. We go out to eat and even went to Iron Man 2 last weekend. We banter and share stupid jokes, but we can also talk about serious things and share things with each other. She is also one of the few people I have ever been able to teach to correctly drive a stick-shift which isn’t as easy as it sounds, especially for a beginning driver.
So I’ve developed a bit of a crush on her, I don’t know why especially since her sister Crystal and I never went through that, we just immediately became buddies and that’s all we wanted. But regardless of the reason, I am very much attracted to Natalie and I would have no hesitance asking her out if she were old enough.
I know enough about flirting and behavior to understand that she clearly feels at least some attraction to me as well, although I haven’t asked her or expressed my own feeling as I don’t want to scare or embarrass her.
However, I am also aware of the obstacles in the way and the problems this could bring about given our ages and my relationships relative to her sister and parents, plus I was raised to be a gentleman and to be respectful of women and there is no chance that I would ever take advantage of her or let anything inappropriate of any kind pass between us, I may be a fairly young man but I do take my honor and reputation very seriously.
But we all know, I’m human and I can’t change how I feel, she is a beautiful young woman and I consider her to be special to me, and I don’t see why I should feel ashamed to admit that.
Also I recognize that a year and a half is not so long and she will be legally date-able, if we should decided then that the attraction is mutual, I guess I’m just a little worried that in that time I run the risk of crossing from Potential Date to Just a friend.
So what I’m asking is if any one has any good advice on how to keep myself in the picture as a friend for now, without losing the tension between us that comes with being attracted each other. I just want her to be comfortable around me without her thinking of me in a big-brother way.
Thanks in advance for your time and responses.
BTW: I’m not a perv ( even though some of you have probably already called me one), I have always dated girls more my own age before, and intend to continue for the time being, and she is currently going through a couple High School relationships, (ugh I think most of us have been there and remember what that’s like). I really do care about her, if I was just a horny guy looking for sex I wouldn’t have bothered with this.
You seem like a good guy, actually I wasn’t gonna read this, but when I saw it seemed imp, I thought it would be good if I could help. Ok, so First of all, dont try to act all big brother by saying something that could be interpreted differently ( i know its vague, but dont present her in a sisterly way to others, so that she doesnt feel like she is) also call her sis a good friend rather than a sis, because then she will be ebliged to act like a sister. You have a year left, so make it a little obvious, show the family the kind of man you are. Think to yourself a little move could ruin everything between you and this family (sorry, dont wanna make you paranoid), but this will make it seem that she is off limits to you. When she is of that age, show her how much you have loved her.
I know a person who lived with another family and was family (introduced as), but he fell in love with their daughter. He went to school with them, stayed with them, her bros were always with him. He knew when the time was right and confessed that he loved her, people in the family new before her and they backed him up. She was very hesitant, but in the end while trying to hook him up with a friend really liked him. They now are married and living a happy life and are accepted by everyone. BTW that guy was crazy for, you know the kill your self for her, shes mine type: but it really showed her how much he loved her and that it was sincere.
I hope that cheered you up, Good luck!
That’s a huge age difference you’re considered a man now while she is still a kid/teenager. Mentally I dont see where you two could be compatible. You need to stay around your age group or wait till shes 18 because even a kiss is inappropriate at your age.
i think this is rly sweet. its obviouse u do rlly care about her. idk how to exaclty stay outa the zone. maybe be flirty once in awhile to keep her thinkin ur stil interested but nothin to much seem lyk a perv which i dont think u r