I’m someone who’s never felt like I belonged in my church and i don’t particularily believe in my religion. I’ve told my parents this but they seem to think that kids need a strong religious platform. I somewhat agree with this but I think that ultimately it should be the person’s desicion and shouldn’t be forced on them. I’m 14 and all i want to do is stop living a lie. I’d be willing to keep going to the church but I don’t want to have to participate or confirm to it like my parents want me to. What do you think of this and any tips on a good argument towards my side?
I stopped believing in god when I was 10, I never told my parents until I was about your age. My mom thinks it’s a phase or something (I’m 26 now). She’s in denial, but she’s never given me grief about it. Although, my parents aren’t very religious anyway. They don’t even go to church. Just tell them you have no control over what you believe. Your beliefs are something you come to naturally, you don’t sit there and say ":Ok, I’m going to stop believing in god….1…2….3! OK, now I don’t believe.":
Yes I have, your parents are correct when the say that it is better to be raised with good steering! they may call it religion, But no parent has the right to choose who God chooses even if it is there own children!!. everyone is or was a child and has free will to choose in there heart, but until you have your own life in your own hands you must obey your parents choices under there roof, even if you feel contrary to there beliefs. Parents ( who are not Evil or Wicked ) want you to have a good life knowing what they do and how to avoid future trouble, it is good to glean such information when it is wisdom. But here comes the surprise God / Jesus supersedes the mainstream churches which he knows are often corrupt and misleading, For instance God is livid that they (mainstream churches) have Stopped worshiping on the real Sabbath – Saturday, and Have Adopted Sunday ( Sin Day) instead!. even though they know this is wrong- The Jews have not suddenly missed out a day by accident!. some things are much clearer outside the brick buildings Just with Jesus Christ and the Bible only the Authorized King James Version though if you can Get it.
It’s hard to give you tips, given you’ve not told us what it is you want to do or stop doing.
Without that crucial information, there’s not a lot we can say.
Your parents get to tell you what to do, and enforce it with whatever punishments they see fit (within reason — but I gather they don’t chain you in the basement and starve you).
There’s nothing they CAN do beyond that.
It’s not that it ":should be": a person’s decision, but that it IS. You believe what you believe, and don’t believe what you don’t believe.
They can’t change that.
When you’re an adult, you can do what you want.
The most I can say is see if you can negotiate something. You’ll X and Y, with no whining or prodding from them, if they’ll let you not Z and, uh, Q. (for want of a better letter)
If there’s a church you prefer, are they amenable to that? That is, you fully participate in that church?
If not, then, nothing you can do but grow up so you can do what you want.
Um, why do you say ":living a lie":? You don’t have to lie, do you? As that would be wrong.
There’s nothing wrong, as far as I know, about being honest about your beliefs.
As long as you aren’t disruptive of the church’s activities.
It’s probably best to participate a little. I went to church to please others and it does not really do much harm. It is good for socializing if nothing else. Just make sure and stand firm and only go to the basics if that is what you believe.
It should be your decision. I always get a horrible feeling inside when a child of 8 says they found god and accepted them into their heart, it sounds alot like brainwashing. I found God more recently, and I believe that you should feel free at your age to reject it if you want. You never know in the future you may come back to it.
I think that no matter what you say your parents will not accept whatever your arguments are. Perhaps try pulling ":sick": days on Sundays to avoid going to Church!!
Since you’re still a minor, the very best argument might not be enough to win over your parents.
And since you’re a minor, you’ll have to be patient and just keep going to church. You may also have to go through with the confirmation because it’s a public, family-oriented event and you just can’t not do it (sorry about that). But don’t feel bad, you’re not alone in this: you might be surprised by how little genuine belief many confirmands have. I was confirmed in the catholic church at fourteen and didn’t believe much of it at the time: a couple of years after that, I didn’t believe any of it and I still don’t believe to this day. I suspect that many of my classmates were much the same.
Keep thinking for yourself. Whatever you decide, good luck.
If you’re willing do go to the church, why don’t you just fake it? Go, pretend to believe it, blah blah blah, but really be a deist or Jewish or whatever.
Or, you could easily tell them that you’d still go to the church, but it just doesn’t really seem like your type of religion. And you DO have a strong religious platform-for the first fourteen or so years of your life, you believed what your church told you and you never have undecided parents or something, like mine. My dad was no religion and my mom was sort of…I don’t know. I had a terrible religious platform, but you have a strong religious platform. Does that make sense?
Anyway. I hope it works.
For sure, I would teach them to respect all religious philosophies and try to glean the truth from them all. To many of us are stuck on the notion that there is only one way to find and experience god. As an example: Jesus gave us this Commandment and all of His teachings,that we might raise our Consciousness to That of His,The Christ Consciousness and thereby not need the Original Ten. This is the message of the New Testament when properly understood. ":A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another: as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.": A new commandment I give unto you, … When we attain this Higher Level in our Consciousness, we are no longer bound by other Laws because we have risen above, to a place where breaking them would not ever be a consideration again. This is part of our evolving process. This will not be achieved by those who only take the Bible and it’s scriptures literally and thereby miss the truth of His message. He also said that what I have done , ": So shall you and even more":, We are capable of finding our own Christ-Hood within our being just as Christ Jesus did at about age 29 and Living life by the Grace of God rather than by Human effort and will. Also by coming into a Higher Consciousness we begin to see how all religious, Spiritual and Mystic teachings are unified and come from the same Supreme Being, whether we call it God, Allah, Buddha, the Great Spirit,The Universal: Mind . This is why the Christ Consciousness will ultimately bring true peace in the World. Not by human thinking or planning, wars or other contrivances. Only when man attains the transcendental Consciousness that was in Christ Jesus shall this world be overcome. This is happening amid all the turmoil in the World and it happens through a Spiritual Discernment of all the different religions teachings in the world. A quickening of the Human Spirit is and will take place, not because you or I have anything to do with it, but because it is Gods Will being made manifest in us. Many Blessings Namaste- I recognize the Christ within you as within me
When your parents say children need a strong religious platform, they’re speaking from the point of view that their religion is correct.
If it were the case that their religion were correct, then of course it’s true all children should have a foundation in it. If Methodism is correct, all children should be raised Methodists. If Islam were correct, all children should be raised Muslims.
Since we have no reason to suspect ANY religion is true, however, it’s not important that children receive a strong religious platform. What your parents said is wrong.
If you want to stop living a lie, stop living a lie. You don’t need any arguments, because you don’t owe anyone an explanation. Keep going to church, but be honest with anyone who asks: say ":I don’t believe this stuff.":
If you’re in Bible study and someone asks you what Jesus meant by this or that, say ":I don’t know.": If they ask you to think about it, say ":I don’t think it’s important to think about.": If they ask why you think Jesus isn’t important, say ":I’m not convinced any of this stuff is true.":
If they ask you to explain yourself, remind them that you don’t owe anyone an explanation. You might say ":You’re the bible teacher/preacher/minister/parents. It’s your job to convince me.":
You’re old enough to make your own decisions regarding religion, if you don’t feel like you belong then you don’t. I was raised Christian and left at 10 for the same reason, I never really felt like I should be there. Just tell your parents that forcing you to go isn’t going to make you believe if you don’t already believe.
I agree with Diane, children need parental guidance. On your side is hard to find positive things to say, I mean, you’re only 14 so living under your parents roof, I wouldn’t ":rock the boat": too much. I think your parents are trying to help to their best ability, maybe just sit down and talk to them might relieve the tension.