Last night my 22 year old son ‘came out’ to his me and his step-father. Neither of us were surprised and have actually had many conversations about it when our son wasn’t around. I’ve thought he was gay since he was about 13 – I even asked him a few times when he was in his late teens and tried to let him know it was fine if he is gay. He always said no.
Last night he told us he was gay and he was worried about what his step-dad was going to think. We both told him that we have no problem with his sexuality, and we want him to be happy. He asked a couple of times if we were unhappy or disappointed and we let him know each time that we are not.
When he left we could tell that he was still nervous and seemed unsure of the situation. What else can we do to let him know he doesn’t need to worry? Is the way he acting normal when you tell your parents you are gay? Was he so sure we’d be upset that he couldn’t believe we weren’t?
We really aren’t sure what to do to make him comfortable. Do we just not mention it again… or will this make him think we are upset and avoiding the conversation? What to do? Thanks.
Your son has been on a emotional roller-coaster planning for this moment. I’m sure there is a huge relief knowing that you and his step-dad are OK with him being gay. Just let everything settle down and let him absorb what happened. The next big hurtle is ":Mom, I want you to meet someone……..": You are one great Mom for caring and understanding.
I think the easiest thing to do is treat him exactly the way you would if he were straight, except that any time where you would mention something about girls/women, change it to boys/men. For example, you can teasingly ask him if he has a boyfriend yet, or if he’s met any guys lately, etc. Don’t force it: only do what you would have done anyway in terms of degree and frequency, just assimilate the knowledge of his orientation into what you’d normally do.
Also, you know your kid. What would make him comfortable? Is he the kind to feel loved an appreciated if you bring him home a little present for no apparent reason, or would he feel more loved by you sitting down to watch a movie with him? Different people understand love differently, and if you can express your love in the ":language": that he understands it, then obviously he’ll understand it better.
Don’t bring it up in conversation, or even try to do it subtly. He’ll think you’re being weird about it.
Honestly, just leave him be and if the subject arises, let him know you love and care for him, and always have and will, no matter what.
He’s nervous because he only just came out and it’s unsteady ground at first. He’ll be fine as long as it’s not an issue.
It’s a good thing you accepted him but he is seems unsure of what to think. You should show how much you love him and maybe take him out to dinner or have quality time with him. Be sure to never say any gay jokes or things like that around him.
i don’t see why you need to do anything more about the situation when i come out to my family not long ago i decided i didn’t care what they think just as long as they know so i don’t have to hide it no more. just be nice to him if he wants to talk more about it he will come to you. the only thing i think you should ask is if he wants the rest of the family to know and you can help him tell them but apart from that i don’t see what more you need to do he’s done the hard part and your doing your bit by excepting it
i respect you you’re really a great mom i wish my mom was like you lol to be HONEST!
I am so glad you’re taking it so well he’s probably in shock that you ":took it so well": because he probably kept it a secret all this time thinking you were gonna freak out!
just tell him and let him know you love him no matter what and you know his sexuality doesn’t change who he is.
Now what… Nothing!
You’ve done what you needed to do, actually you went above and beyond they call of duty. I’d give you a medal of I could.
Nothing to do now, just carry on being awesome!
-Love Minifig666 x
Just keep reassuring him that that you just him to be happy. If it still doesn’t work then educate you self on gay culture and then help him out more be more active with him and his life.
Try to convince him that, not having enough attention from girls in life shouldn’t mean he has to become gay, he’s a human, and to not copulate with the opposite sex is to be a broken machine. If all efforts fail, have more kids to carry on your lineage that millions of years of evolution have led to. Or let you ancestor’s efforts die with him and naturally select against individuals with homosexual tendencies.
just tell him that you support him and love him…
your welcome… 🙂
your a good mom!