So a lot of stuff has been going on in the last year. I ended a relationship i was in for 5yrs cause it was abusive. My grandfather or papaw as i called him passed away and he was like a father to me. Than i got with this guy that i fell for to hard, droopedd me for two weeks than we started dating again. The boy i fell for is super bi-polar and so am i, so when we get low we get low and push people away. But i feel as if the whole world would be better off with out me in it, ive felt this way since my freshman year of high school when my cousin was murdere that’s when everything started, i started cutting and using drugs. I blamed myself for everything that happened to her because of the last words i said to her. You have to realize that i am a only child and only grandchild. And when you hear that you think, oh she so spoiled so far from the truth, my mother had me when she was 14 and my dad was 16. They were kids themselves and did not want me so they gave me to my granny and papaw to raise. My family are the weirdest and craziest people you will ever meet. My parents are completely two faced. I am the only one to graduate high school and go to college…i’ve tryed to please them and make them proud of me. But no matter what i do it never works, its sad when you say your parents are your friends not ur mom and dad. I consider my granny and papaw (who just passed away). They are the only people i love in this world, i don’t even love my parents. I wish it could different but its not. I have so much on my shoulders right now. And you might say that’s what life is. I have been in and out of hospitals since i was 6. Because of my stomach and than my sophomore year i developed kidney stones. I have had 12 in the last 3yr. I cant tell you how many times ive been in hospitals and surroundededd by death. Sometimes i feel surrounded by funerals and hospital.That’s no way for a child to be raised, now im 21 years old and have no one that likes me. Everything ive done in my life is to make people happy. You know how they say, you wear ur heart on your sleevee well i wear mine on my finger tips. But im done with it all every night i take sleeping pills to find out how much i need to take to kill my self. I took 6 tonight, i started cutting after my cousinn died. That was my darkest time in life, than my own dad calls me fat when i only weigh 100lbs. From that i developed a eating disorder, i would go days without eating. Cause after high school i gained like 15 pounds, now every time i eat something, they all call me fat…im done with it when i’m happy for the first time in awhile they bring me down its like if they cant be happy that everyone else cant be it pisses me off really. An you may ask, why didn’t you ask for help i did ask but no one cared enough to listen…id like peoples thoughts on mysituation?
Leave everything and everybody. Go very far from your home town. Engage your self in some productive job and help poor people. Do some charity etc. Thats ok if god did not keep you happy. but do not kill yourself or waste time in thinking such things. Work hard and have an aim in life and move on. As time passes by things will be alright. One day life will end. Nobody is permanent here..
To the person above, she is 21 (read please). I am not going to tell you to find God because I think that is a load of ****. I am not atheist, but I do not think finding religion solves all problems.
You do need to get away from your family and create your own life because your family seems to drag you down more. Volunteering is good, get some counseling, do something that makes you feel good. The main thing here is DO FOR YOU! I learned a while back that you have to look out for yourself when it is obvious no one is looking out for you. Death is never the answer, it is the ":easy way out":, because in the end it creates more problems for the ones you left behind that do care.
If you can find a way to get through this (and if you want to, you can) you will only be a stronger person for it- maybe you can use this experience later to help others in situations like yours! As far as the pills you just took, call someone for help now please!
you need to get away from them. You need to rid yourself of the abusive people and situations around you, it will be hard and you will feel like quitting but your young, you have your whole life ahead of you, your papaw would not have wanted you to just throw your life away when he and your grandma dedicated themselves to raising you because they loved you and they both knew you had and still have so much potential, you can be happy again, gey yourself somewhere new, your just starting your life so you need to get away and start over, do stuff for yourself. Stop trying to please everyone else, if they don’t appreciate you then ****** they don’t deserve to have you around. It’s time to live your life and please yourself and forget the people who hurt you. Cut the ties and you wil be happier. You have so much to live for. You need to get out and see the world and LIVE. And as for the health issues, just drink water it heals all. And stress and sadness and depression usually cause health issues, but if you get away and become happier I promise you will feel better.
and get rid of the boy. Boys just cause heart ache and it sounds like you already have alot going on without a boy in there to make things more complicated
you can make something beautiful of your life. Everyone experiences hard times. I guarantee you that within a years time everything will feel just so amazing and just right. There are people in this world who have it 100 times worse than you do, In fact i know quite a few. Find God my dear, he will help you thru it. If he brings you to it he will always bring you thru it. How old are you, you sound like you are very young…16 im just guessing? Life gets so much bettr than the way a 16 year old percieves it, just wait
Im Praying for you hun God Bless
You do not have to take it to heart: if people are saying rude comments to you, you may just try turning it into a positive. You can make it positive by saying ":excuse me, I do not deserve to be treated this way, I did not treat you badly, is there something wrong that you would like to talk about?":. Keep in mind that words people say are not made to make you feel a certain way, it is up to you to decide how you want to feel. Good luck, and try to admit your faults to yourself so that you may resolve them. Seek a therapist, I am still looking for one myself. They listen, and teach you ways to manage what is bothering you, and help you change your thought patterns so that you live a better life, and learn more about yourself.
FYI i didnt even read any of that but just dont kill ur self cus ull go to hell(its in the bible) and its not fun plus do u have friends or idk god just apparently doesnt like u