I have a bf who is very supportive and my mom is supportive too..but she thinks i should consider abortion because im not ready for a baby. I am so terrified right now i dont know what to do. i only found out yesterday that im pregnant. im guessing im 3 or 4 weeks along. im about a week late now for my period, i got 2 positive tests. my mom is saying i should really consider ALL my options. she said if i said i was ready for this baby she would support me but since im admitting im not ready i should take this as a sign i shouldnt go forward. she says right now its just a clump of cells and to do it now at 4 weeks before its too late. she said shell support me either way. im so scared because before i got pregnant i always said id never get an abortion even though im pro choice. it was never a question for me. now that ive fallen pregnant im absolutely terrified and in SHOCK. i dont want to make a quick decision cause of the shock. when does it fade away? has anyone experienced this? i just cant stop crying. i feel like im in a tunnel or a different world. im scared of the following: My body going through changes, not being a good enough mother, not being strong enough, my mom being disappointed in me, being depressed during or after pregnancy(ive been depressed before), having to leave college, not being able to make enough money(though my boyfriend tells me not to worry about that he says hell take care of it). im so scared im not mentally stable enough or strong enough for this. ive been in therapy the past 5 months for having on and off states of mild depression. i just dont feel i can handle this at all i cannot picture it. is this just shock or should i listen to this feeling? i dont want to have an abortion and then when im not pregnant and the fear wears off, to regret my decision.
Any opinions????? thank you sooo much if you read all this…
Like you, I got pregnant young, at 20. I am pro-choice but knew I could never have an abortion myself. No one pressured me to, though. I don’t know what to tell you, really. I mean, I had a supportive man and other support systems in place. It was an easy decision to me to keep my baby. And I did. And for what it’s worth, it was the best decision I could have made.
I am bipolar. I suffered HORRIBLE post-partum depression. They make meds for that, you know? Anyway, yeah, I was horribly depressed for at least six months, but that didn’t keep me from loving my baby.
The moment I found out I was pregnant, yeah, I cried. I held the test in a shaky hand and couldn’t believe it. But I went with it. As soon as I knew that baby was there, I loved her intensely. I would protect her all the time. And then I knew that I’d protect her for as long as I live. She’s five now, I love her more than anything.
Yeah, it’s hard as HELL to raise a baby. No sleep, crying a lot, cleaning up after them, all that. But I tell you, it’s all worth it.
I’m saying all of this because you said that you didn’t want to regret having an abortion. If you think you’d live to feel guilty and regret it, don’t do it. If you think you could move on from it and it’s really what you want, then do it. But not because someone pressured you to.
I wasn’t ready to be a mother, but that changed as soon as I found out she was there. I did everything I could to have a healthy pregnancy. And my pregnancy was bliss. No signs of mental illness from me then, which was odd because I’d had them my whole life.
I don’t know. That was my story. Just make the decision you feel is the best. If you don’t think that you could be a good mother, don’t do it. If you don’t want to have an abortion, you could always carry the baby to term and put it up for adoption. There are options other than abortion if you really feel like you shouldn’t have one.
Good luck in whatever you decide to do. I hope that it all works out for the best.
When you have a child, you have to start making all your decisions on what is best for the child not what you want or what is best for you. If you are not ready for a baby and another family could give them a better life, you would have to make the right decision for the baby, not yourself.
Yes, it is just a bundle of cells. But, every piece of that child’s DNA is in place. Everything from the gender, to what he or she will look like, to what personality traits he or she will have. Has it formed into a fetus yet? No. But everything about that baby has already been determined. It is it’s own unique self, there will never be another like it. Do they deserve the chance to live? Or do they have to lose that chance because you were ready for sex, but not the consequences?
I’m not trying to convince you either way, these are just the facts. You should be aware of them before making a decision. Try listening to this, see how it makes you feel: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bQG8v8kT…
Have you watched ":The Silent Scream": (28 Minutes)? I suggest you do. You should know all the facts about abortion, before you choose it. I have a friend who choose abortion, then later learnt more of what happens and how quickly a fetus develops. Now she regrets it.
Whatever you choose to do, you do need to take you boyfriends opinion into consideration. Yes, it is your body but it is just as much his child. I know two men who’s girlfriends aborted their children. Both of these men have never gotten over it. One almost attempted suicide, he never wants a(nother) child now.
Being a young mum is hard, but being a mum at any age is hard. No matter when you have a baby, you will still struggle. Just because you are young, doesn’t mean that you can’t do it! If you want to do it, you can. Having a supportive family helps, but even people without support do it. Please, please though, don’t rely on your boyfriend always being there. You are young, and there is a very high chance you will not be together in a few years. Of course, there is also that chance that you will be.
The way you are feeling right now, it’s completely normal. You are in shock, and scared and that is to be expected. You only found out yesterday. You need to take more time to figure it out. I recommend taking at least two weeks. Take a lot of quiet time and just think.
The heart will start beating at 5-6 weeks, and there is a chance that the fetus will feel physical pain during the abortion. Right now, it is just cells. But at 5 weeks, it not longer will be. At 8 weeks, it will be considered a fetus (instead of embryo).
But even with that information, you still cannot rush this decision. Rushing to get an abortion before they are no longer just cells, isn’t logical. You may regret the decision and regardless of the form, it is already the set up of a complete person.
If you want to be a mom, you can do it! But please, take the next few weeks to really think and to become adjusted to the fact that you are pregnant. Try writing a letter to yourself, sometimes things set in faster when we write them down.
Never say ":never": about adoption! If your family is struggling &: there is no way that you could support the baby financially (and, believe it or not, financially adds to mental stress) &: you are really ":set off": by the thought of abortion then what other REAL alternative do you have? I give more credit to people who REALLY put the best interests of their child ahead of what they really want! I know this sounds cliche, but there really are TONS of loving and financially stable couples out there who want to adopt! And, w/Open Adoption, you can have (LIMITED) access to your child (like on b-days and Christmas). You should really call an adoption agency and, at least, listen to what they have to say! Never hurts!
To be honest, I don’t support abortion, but you’ve got your whole life ahead of you still and you’re pregnant! You need to go to school, earn a living, etc. If you have the child, you won’t be able to do all of that in your life, because of the baby’s needs. If you really don’t want an abortion, and you could get someone (like your mom) to financially help you and/or take care of the baby, then you can do it!
you’ll get through it ! Just think of the blessing of having a mini u n ur bf !!!! Babies are such blessings and if ur mom supports u ull be fine ! Just be ready for love cause that’s all babies want n need- the economy isn’t perfect to graduate n get a degree n actually work !!!! Just take what god has given u now n take care of school when baby goes to school or take online classes – u may change ur mind about career too- I was a hair stylist now after I have my baby I’ll be working on degree in early childhood education lol things change n adjust to changes
Hello jade. I’m 18 years historic and i’m pregnant. Simply after three months of turning 18, i learned i was pregnant in march.Iam 31 weeks along now. I had always informed myself id on no account an abortion, but after I received pregnant i considered it. I really did… I idea about my existence correct now. I barely got out of highschool, i don’t have any job, my boyfriend has no job. How might i support this child and be a good mother. I had an extremely sound to verify how many weeks i was once. I was still early 6 weeks… I heard the heartbeat and i could not bring myself do have an abortion. I do know that little something was once my daughter or son, and used to be a part of me. Yes even now i am still in shock, and put out of your mind i am pregnant, I do not regret my determination on maintaining this baby. I dont think i ever will…. You could have your mother and Boyfriend who supports whatever selection. When advised my mom i used to be pregnant, she advised me the equal factor too, in case your going to have it, do it quickly, and dont wait. But she told me its my determination i need to reside with it for the leisure of my lifestyles. I do battle with depression myself because i used to be a youngster( although i have remedy,) i attempt to keep optimistic and no longer think sorry for myself. It does aid to feel constructive. Whatever decision you are making, do it for yourself, now not your boyfriend, mother or anyone.. Do that for yourself. Goodluck
Put it up for adoption. You can have an open adoption where you can see the baby often, even though it’ll be hard giving your child away, it can have a good family. And you’ll still be in touch with the kid, and you can move on with what you had planned for the rest of your life.
look something like that is a really personal decision, I had my first at 17 and abortion was never even a thought for me though I am pro-choice, that was just me though, you know what you can handle and your mother is right, at this stage it’s just a bunch of cells but there isn’t a HUGE rush, take a few days to think about it, do some reasearch on ALL your options and talk to your doctor!
Step 1: Accept that you’re illiterate (This step is half the battle)
Step 2: Try to organize your thoughts in somewhat logical blocks.
Step 3: Understand that correct use of capitalization and punctuation can transform this utterly substandard block of crap into coherent ideas.
Step 4: Use your new-found literacy to bring an element of readability into the narration of your ill-begotten woes.
Step 5: Once you’ve dealt with the issue of your writing, do a web search on contraceptives.
Also, on a more serious note, please realize that an adoption would most likely be in the best interests of your child. Keeping the child while you cannot financially cope is the easiest way to ensure that you will not ever be financially stable. Please consider giving the child up for adoption, and having another child once you and your boyfriend (or whoever) are more stable.