OK. MY MOM IS SO FREAKING CHEAP I can barely explain it in words. She is also this horrible robot or something and just AGH! I figured since my mom or dad won’t ever let me get a dog or a cat, I wanted to volunteer at a nearby shelter. So i told them 3 weeks before the training class that it was on a monday and they kept saying ok ok then on SUNDAY! the day before it, she tells me, I always have meetings on a Monday, you can’t go and volunteer. And i told her I told you 3 weeks ago!! and she started shouting I TOLD YOU MONDAY ISN’T A GOOD DAY FOR ME! but she didn’t tell me til that day. And she didn’t even look or feel guilty i bet you. Ok, so i try to be a good daughter, I don’t do anything super bad and I get like really good grades. Of course she always makes my sister her TOP priority and just thinks of me, like as gum on a bottom of her shoe. She says she loves me, but she has serious problems. She will start SCREAMING if you forget to put back something. Or i asked for 5 dollars for lunch from Subway because she didn’t buy anything from the grocery store and she started shouting and saying that I was a spoiled rotten kid, who doesn’t appreciate ANYTHING. HOWEVER! when she does buy something for me (like once every two years) I’ll thank her a million times. I’M FREAKING 12! I UNDERSTAND MONEY! She makes me pay for my OWN school supplies! WE AREN’T EVEN BROKE!!!! Believe me, if i could I would get a job so i could pay for more stuff, but HELLO! i’m 12, how do i get a job???? No one hear needs a babysitter because everyone hires like 20 year old nannys, and if i did housework I would like weed for 3 hours and she would give me like 50 cents. THATS how cheap she is. My dad can agree with me all he wants, but my mom like freakin rules the house or something, and I just feel like I’m living in a house where I can’t have feelings, or have my own opinions. Anyone else felt this way? Am i acting like a spoiled brat?
Doesn’t sound that way to me at all. But to be be perfectly honest, I have the same sort of relationship with my mother. She yells at me and calls me a hideous spoiled brat and favors my brother, and I kind of think she’s insane. So maybe I’m a little biased here or whatever. But it doesn’t sound to me like you’re being spoiled.
Obviously I’m not trying to say that everything is always the parent’s fault. I appreciate everything that parents do and I completely understand that it’s difficult to raise kids and work and whatnot. But I think a lot of it is that sometimes parents and kids just see things completely differently. That’s what I blame my poor relationship with my parents on anyway.
Hate is a very strong word, perhaps if you said ":dislike intensely": we would all get the picture just the same (LOL).
You are not necessarily acting like as spoiled brat, but just like a normal young teenager, which is neither good or bad, just normal. As usual, there seems to be a lack of communication in your household, or at the very least communication which you all understand. For example, in spite of the fact you gave your Mom 3 weeks notice of your intention to train in the animal shelter, you failed to hear her say Monday wasn’t a good day for her. Just by telling her 3 weeks in advance was not going to change your Mom’s business meetings or whatever. If you had said something along the lines ":Mom the training day is on a Monday, are you able to make some time to get me there and collect me": you would have found out immediately that it was unlikely to occur and you could have attempted to make some other arrangements.
As for some allowance money, why not ask your dad to intervene by arranging a regular amount for you each week and then you won’t feel as though you are being totally ignored. You could offer to do some chores around the house for the money, like putting things back where they belong thus avoiding your Mom screaming at you.
Do you have a lot of tantrums? That’s the impression that I get. How do you pay for school supplies if she doesn’t give you money? Or does your dad give you money? I understand your frustration for your last minute notice that you can’t volunteer on Mondays when you’ve been talking about it for 3 weeks. What I don’t get is how all these other things suddenly become part of that issue. When people argue and verbally stomp about like that, it makes it hard to listen for one. And all the issues that are brought into the one issue, kind of muddy the first issue because now there’s an overwhelming pile of issues to deal with. So, deal with one issue at a time when you talk with your parents. Maybe they’ll be more willing to discuss if you’re willing to not explode into a panic when they say no. Try to keep negotiations going instead of verbal spillage. Maybe there’s something else that will work. Try to talk with your dad about how you can get some things in your life going for you instead of against you.
You’re just acting like a regular kid who’s about to become a teen. Trust me Moms and daughters especially first born daughters always but heads. For right now you kinda just have to make the best of it. Your mom might be going through something because even moms have issues sometimes. Eventually you guys will get better but until then find a hobby that you can do near or around the house to pass the time and try not to have an attitude because two attitudes make for quadruple the stress and problems. Hope this helps
This is the 21st century, the internet is your solution. For 12 year olds I would recommend prizerebel. I have earned a total of $80 from there in 1 month. *sigh* I remember I had the EXACT same problem when I was 11. My mom thought I was spoiled too and I was the only kid on the block without a wii, but she would say ": I give you other stuff.": SO you should try prizerebel to just get money for urself. Just go to http://www.prizerebel.com/index.php?r=2503622.
I understand how you feel. perhaps your mom is under a lot of stress that you are unaware of. have you tried talking to her calmly, so she doesn’t fly into defensive mode? maybe if you sat down with her and explain why you are upset, you are disappointed. explain how much volunteering means to you. point out the fact that you are performing a community service- what are all the other 12 year olds in your neighborhood doing??
I don’t know where the cheapness is coming from. sometimes money issues are not so obvious,
if you come off like you are genuinely concerned, like, Mom, is everything ok? do we need to worry about money now? maybe she will confide in you, or at least see that you are aware that something is not right.
As a mother, I know that sometimes it’s hard to please your children. Just go to her and ask her if you can talk to her for a minute. Tell her how special it was to you that she thought of you to buy you some shirts, but they aren’t really your style right now. Tell her the last thing you want to do is offend her, so maybe you two can go shopping together sometime and you can show her what you like and she can show you what she likes (for mothers day or Christmas). I bet the shirts look great on you, and remember you don’t always have to show skin to be beautiful. It’s what’s left to the imagination that is the most beautiful! Good luck!
Sounds to me like your mom totally approaches those sorts of situations the wrong way. She completely overreacts. Believe me, I know what it’s like: my stepmom turned cold towards me once I turned 12 too.
i think everyone goes thru that growing up, not much you can do about it