I am a tablespoon of peanut butter
I am a suicidal wrist cutter
I am a piece of $hit in the gutter
I’m dirty and it hurts me
I can’t express how I feel inside
No one would understand anyway
Unless they had enough empathy
To switch places with me
I am not one to feign
This is real pain
I forget how to smile
My face muscles have atrophied
I haven’t smiled in a while
I hope I don’t wake from my sleep
I’m going to drown in my tears
The pain has gotten worse over the years
I can’t stand the pain
I just want to sleep
But I still suffer in my dreams
There is no god
I wish I was never born
I hate everything
My whole being hurts
My eyes hurt
I am lower than dirt
I wipe my nose on my shirt
I am too tired to do it myself
I’m a mess
I need Oprah or Dr. Phil
I take so many pills
Take a dump on my chest
Step on me
Everyone is better than me
I am weak
I can’t make eye contact with anyone
Leave me alone
I was born alone
And I will die alone
you repeated stuff alot. other than that very well wow i thought my emo poems were depressing. lol but very good other wise. i dont like the end though. how about surprised im not surrounded by a house of foam.
WOW, this poem reminds me of some of the stuff I’ve wrote, and read at a few poetry readings. It makes me hurt, all over.
Your pain is very apparent and the fact that you are so up front with your pain shows you have guts. Yes, life is a beach and most of us hate being here, but we are all here for a reason, even if it’s just to let others know things could be worse.
Write your heart out. Put down all the bad, but put down some of the good too. When you’re this sad, you need to see-on paper that there are some good things in life too.
Now, I’m sure you realize that your poem is very strong, maybe a little too strong. Put some color in it, some smells, tastes, and take out things that are repetative and you will see it flow a little more. Let’s see it after you revise.
Dont feel so down bout yourself…Sometimes people do hate themselves. I also have produced a similar poem before. I like your poem as it sounds really real and expressive! However i do think that it will work better if you omit the very last line in the poem…coz ":And I will die alone": is really a very dramatic ending already. You got yourself a very interesting piece of poem here! cheer up!!! 🙂
You know, I don’t know who has rejected you or why you think of yourself so lowly, but face it Jesus died for you and will accept you just as you are. He WILL help you just ask Him if you truly want to change your life around – and you should. Life is a one time gift but we must try.
Hm, very interesting, but one you seem to repeat things and you also seem to jump around a lot, the are very few transitional words. Yes, I know, this is a poem, not a story or anything, but it sounds really ":choppy": as one of my previous teachers put it. Otherwise, very good. ^_^
i like your poem but you shouldnt be so hard on yourself. i hate life but you have to make the best of whats been given. you cant just let it go straight to the ground. like aaliyah pick yourself up and try again. i be feeling the same way but i hate being sad it kills me like a thousand knives. so try to think positive and make the best of what you already have
Well your just all sunshine and roses aren’t you.
that was good and it was really deep. you should write another one. and if u do e-mail me, at [email protected]