My eleven year old daughter is embarrassed about everything. She doesn’t even like me coming around her. She wouldn’t dance with her dad at a little dance, because we embarrass her so much. It really bothers me that she feels this way. Is it normal for her to go through a faze where she does this? We have never done anything that would make her think we would do something to intentionally embarrass her. It is pretty annoying… when i pick her up from camp, she won’t even walk next to me. She will be twelve in December and is an only child- if that means anything.
My 10 Year old is starting to get a bit like this now, whereas before hand he was my little puppy following me around and snuggling up – sneaking into our bed in the mornings for a little snuggle and now I’m lucky if I get a kiss goodnight.
You have to take into consideration that they arent little babies at this age and want badly to be grown up – it can be such a difficult time for them we call them ":tweens": not quite children and not quite a teenager. really wanting to be grown up but not allowed to be (for obvious reasons)
Theres also a factor of peer pressure, all their friends act a lot cooler than they actually are and obviously brag about it to their friends and how they say they treat their parents and act at home.
As shes growing up fast by the sounds of it – why not try to have a little ":adult": time with her – ie take her to get her nails done with you or get some pizzas and have a girly night. If shes not keen on a girly night with you then suggest her friends come for a stop over and show you can be cool by pretty much leaving them to it (obviouly within reason) hire movies and order pizza in.
You’ll get her back soon – at the end of the day we all need our mums sometimes xx
It’s just her hormones. I was never embarrassed of my parents (I was really outgoing!), but I went though a really hormonal stage about the time I was 12 until maybe about 14. (I’ll be 17 in a few days.) My sister is going to be 14 soon and she started out with the ":you’re embarrassing me!": stuff too. It’s been SO bad that when my dad goes to her concerts (she’s in band and choir), that she won’t even say thank you for coming or anything! (It’s a long drive, too!) My daughter hasn’t been there yet, she hasn’t even been born, haha, but from having a cousin who is the same age as my sister, and looking back on it now, I think it’s just hormones…They’re not fun to deal with! I don’t live with my mom and sister, but my mom always tries to talk to her anyway and let her know she’s there for her. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t, so don’t be discouraged if things don’t go they way you hope for a while.
I hope this helps…I know I’m just a teenager too but wooo, my sister’s so bad with her hormones, it’s like you can smell the attitude! haha!
I would say it is common, but not necessarily normal.
Many, many girls are like this, but if you don’t like it, insist that she stop doing this.
She can be embarrassed, she can be hormonal, BUT, she still has to be polite to people, especially her parents.
You should not make her dance with her Dad, but not walking with you when you went to pick her up is just rude.
When my daughter went to camp for a week when she was 11, she was thrilled to see us when we went to pick her up, introduced us to the Camp staff and her new friends, so, what your daughter is doing may not be rare, but it is extremely rude.
You need to deal with that.
First thing I would do is to start talking to her more, encourage interaction between the two or three of you, have more ":family": time. Play board games, go for walks.
We have 4 adult children, and if you want any contact or interaction with your daughter when she is an adult, you need to strengthen the bonds with her NOW.
Wined back to her age and try to remember how you would of felt if you had to dance with your dad at 11. It’s completly normal and she will grow out of it.
At the moment, your daughter just wants to be mature, and she only feels this when she hasn’t got her parents round. Remember girls start puberty at 9-11 so she wants to act older than she is. Seriously, this is a faze and in about 2 years she will grow out of it.
It’s completely normal. I’m 13 and I went through that faze too. I think a lot of people that age go through it. Just give her some space, she’ll grow out of it before you know it.
it most likely is just a phase, but sometimes that sort of behaviour means she has alot of social anxiety. if you’r concerned maybe have somebody talk to her, a phyciatrist maybe she needs some anxiety medication. thats what my issue was.
but on the other hand, she might just be going through a phase where she want’s to be independant.
try approaching her about her anxiety, in a CALM and non judgemental way.
i think that she might be one of those very popular girls or something, when i was that age (3 years ago)
girls were the typical ":ugh, don’t talk to me, ugh, you’re a nerd, ugh, i mean, like, i’m me and you’re you": and similar phrases
and if not, she might just have trouble with the image that she wants people to have of her, i know i do and i got over it
but don’t worry, as long as she’s not doing drugs, she’s fine
Well they could be several things going on with her. For starters if she don’t talk to you, and give you the answers to why she is this way. Then I would go to other sources, like her friends..They know her more than you do right now. I would ask the friends parents to talk to their daughter about it. And ask the parent of the friends if they know anything strange about their child. It is not going behind their back, it is caring about your child. I have a 13 year old just turned it, and I have very aware of the surroundings and I ask questions. I talk to her, and I monitor her computer, and check her e-mails. I am protecting her, from all the evil that is out here. Hope that helps.
It’s just a phase, she’ll grow out of it in probably 4 years. I grew out of mine just recently.
This is completely normal. It sucks for us parents, but the reality is that we’re just not cool enough for the ":tweenagers":!
You may want to remind her that EVERY teenager out there has parents and it’s a fact she has to face and get over. It’s also embarrassing for YOU that she’s acting like such a brat!
Good luck…you’re gonna need it! 🙂